he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i just google imaged poop.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
