Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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