You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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