One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
When are your genitals available?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
