all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
