this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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