if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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