did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
