Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize