In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
