Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
