Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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