I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
