she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
