I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
