I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
