Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
No subtext here. People are naked.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
