i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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