Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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