dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
