i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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