Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
