the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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