there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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