My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
