Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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