nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
