I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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