Porn is love you can see.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
