Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
