I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He? As in you personified your dick?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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