Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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