Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
