Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
where are my eyebrows?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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