Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
