you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
