That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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