I wish my penis had an off switch
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
