i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize