I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
