we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
