I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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