i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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