Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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