Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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