He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
