Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
