so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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