Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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