shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
