They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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