She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize