Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
