i would punch a child for taco bell
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
