I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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