i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
