So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
