normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
