On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
