we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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