i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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