When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
