I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
