fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
