'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
