I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
