I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
