first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
