dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
And the cops told us we were all naked.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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