I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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