the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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