At least make sure they are 18
Why
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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